I was told multiple time that because I’m a bigger girl and have an anterior placenta* that I wouldn’t feel the baby kick until around 22 -24 weeks and might not feel kicks from the outside until the very end. I’m 22 weeks now (22 weeks and 3 days, to be exact!) and have been feeling baby move for over a month! On Thursday, I felt baby kick from the outside. Go baby, go!

*An anterior placenta means my placenta is in the front of my uterus instead of in the back. That means it acts as a nice cushion in the front making baby harder to feel, my stomach stick out further, and back pain is more severe. This baby better be cute.

I’ll save you guys some trouble. The answer to “What are you having?” is “Hopefully a pony.” and the answer to “What are you naming it?” is “Spandex Amadeus Orpendorph.” These answers will not change until June/July.

Also, this line of questioning won’t trick me into telling you things:

Person: What are you having!
Me: A baby!
Person: Haha, no really! What is it?
Me: We’re not sharing that yet.
Person: Oh! Well, what are you naming it?!

It’s not even noon and I’ve already blown through a third of this roll o’ Tums. Apparently the old wives tale about heartburn = hairy babies is true 82% of the time according to some study that some really bored doctors did, which leads me to believe I am incubating a monkey.

I had a Reese’s cup McFlurry last week and it knocked it out for like four hours, which was magical. If that is seriously the only thing that works for long stretches of time, I’m going to have to get a bag of those mini cups and a giant thing of vanilla ice cream and make my own. It’s a good thing I’m still at my pre-pregnancy weight.

Lesson learned though, regarding McFlurry consumption: Never post on twitter that you’ve just eaten a McFlurry unless you’re prepared to withstand Internet Rage and accusations of poisoning your fetus.

So…if you’re worried about fetal movement, just get in a minor car accident on your cab ride home. This baby hasn’t stopped for the last hour! She’s moving so much, it’s actually making me nauseated. Anyway.

There was a 0% chance we were leaving Target without these onesies.

I have the most stubborn baby alive. Our half-hour anatomy scan today ended up taking a little over an hour because she decided to a) spin around every time the tech or doctor tried to get a good view of her heart and b) not uncross her ankles ever, so it appeared that she had no right foot.

The poor tech had to do part of the ultrasound with me laying on my side facing away from her to get half of the heart shots, never got the foot shots, and we’re still missing one thing on the heart. I might have to go to a pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echo if they don’t find what they’re looking for after going through the pictures. It could possibly mean a heart defect but we won’t know til they review the images. The doctor came in and found her foot, so at least there’s that.

It’ll be TWO WEEKS before we know if baby’s heart is ok or if we go for a fetal echo.

She is SO grounded when she comes out.

Feb. 16 update: I just got a very apologetic call from the doctor that did my second ultrasound. She said she reviewed the u/s tech’s images from the first ultrasound that day and found what she needed. The tech missed them because she was rushing to leave early. The doctor sounded super pissed and embarrassed!

Ok, when does this super sense of smell go away? It’s getting crazy. I have PTSD and am already extremely hyper-vigilant because of that. With the PTSD/pregnancy combo, I can smell when The Daddy opens the fridge when I’m in the living room! I just cleaned it out a couple of days ago, so I know there’s nothing funky in there stinking it up!

Today I had my first high risk prenatal appointment. I went in at 8:30am and was told it would take a half an hour. I got out at 10:45am. That was unexpected.

First issue: I’m on three medications for an endocrine disorder and autoimmune disorder. The medications had been approved at my first trimester appointment, though that wasn’t a high risk appointment and was at a different clinic. The specialist at the new clinic wasn’t happy when he learned what I was taking. Great.

The medications I’m taking (cytomel, levothyroxine and metformin) pose no risk to the fetus but the specific combination of medications make my TSH difficult to monitor and adjust for, and one may make the results of my glucose tolerance test inaccurate. I have to go back to the clinic at 7am tomorrow morning (ouch) to have labs done, stop two of my three medications, increase the dose on one, and then have new labs run in two weeks to make sure my thyroid doesn’t completely flip out. If I’m either a zombie or a crazy insomniac over the next two weeks, you know why.

Second issue: my last pap smear wasn’t in the computer system. I get them religiously every year, so that bugged. I was wary of having one done while pregnant because any spotting freaks me out. It sort of comes with the territory of having a 45% miscarriage risk vs the normal miscarriage risk of around 10% or something. Anyway. I asked if I should expect bleeding and warned the doctor of my sensitive cervix. She said not to worry and to expect some spotting.

…and then I felt something warm between my legs. For a moment, I thought “Shit, did I just pee myself?!” and then realized “…oh. That’s blood.” I bled so much, it ran out onto the floor. There was a pool of blood on the floor and on the exam table. There was blood on the doctor’s pants. It took a couple of minutes for the bleeding to stop so that I could sit up and clean myself off. That was messy business. The doctor had that “I’m trying to stay calm for the patient :D :D” look on her face, which was not exactly reassuring. Now I am anxiously waiting for the bleeding to stop so I can ease up on the whole “Everything is awesome and okay!” mantra happening in my head right now.

Third issue: apparently it’s rare to have Braxton Hicks early in the second trimester. I had a cramp/contraction/whatever on Saturday morning. It wasn’t painful, just strange. There was a shudder in my abdomen and then it tightened all the way across and stayed that way for about 30 seconds. I wasn’t overly concerned, so I didn’t rush to the ER or anything since I had an appointment scheduled for today. I guess I should’ve at least been more diligent in my calling because as soon as I told the doctor, she said “Ok let’s go get the ultrasound machine and make sure everything is ok.” Everything’s fine, baby was kicking. It was a bit scary when she was eager to get the ultrasound machine though since at my first appointment it seemed like a total chore to get the doctor to use the doppler so we could hear the heartbeat.

Yeah, so hopefully my ONE MILLION upcoming appointments are less dramatic/bloody than the appointment this morning. Assuming my thyroid labs and glucose tolerance test go well, I get to switch to midwife care. Fingers crossed I can leave the high risk BS behind.